I couldn't resist the title, sorry Clementine, I've dragged the tone of the site irrevocably down.
However, if you were a humble french car and pushing forty (or just pushing forty) wouldn't you have occasional problems too?
ops:
My '68 model (R1123 dogleg 4 speed made late '67) has an embarrassing problem in that on hot days in traffic it will get to a point when stopping at the lights it will, errm, "blow off" a large gout of blue grey smoke on takeoff. Initially thought "valve guides" but it doesn't happen every time, only every fourth or fifth time I stop at the lights, and for the other times no smoke at all. Likewise at speed it doessn't blow any at gearchanges like my old alfa did, and the oil consumption is nothing terrible, about 1- 1 and a half pints every 3000 miles (or maybe that is terrible). It seems to happen more if the oil is at the high level mark on the dipstick, particularly when slightly overfilled (to the "running in" mark, but almost never happens once the level is about halway between the high and low marks.
I'm wondering if it is the (so-called) emission control- could oil vapour be collecting in a low point in the tube from the rocker cover breather to the carby, and occasionally getting sucked into the carby when I take off? I notice the later cars have a T piece in this tube going down to a small orifice in the inlet manifold below the carb, which would potentially drain any such puddles. Maybe this is worth trying.
Interested in any ideas or comments but I'm going to experiment by temporarily replacing the tube with a clear one this weekend and seeing what I can see.
However, if you were a humble french car and pushing forty (or just pushing forty) wouldn't you have occasional problems too?

My '68 model (R1123 dogleg 4 speed made late '67) has an embarrassing problem in that on hot days in traffic it will get to a point when stopping at the lights it will, errm, "blow off" a large gout of blue grey smoke on takeoff. Initially thought "valve guides" but it doesn't happen every time, only every fourth or fifth time I stop at the lights, and for the other times no smoke at all. Likewise at speed it doessn't blow any at gearchanges like my old alfa did, and the oil consumption is nothing terrible, about 1- 1 and a half pints every 3000 miles (or maybe that is terrible). It seems to happen more if the oil is at the high level mark on the dipstick, particularly when slightly overfilled (to the "running in" mark, but almost never happens once the level is about halway between the high and low marks.
I'm wondering if it is the (so-called) emission control- could oil vapour be collecting in a low point in the tube from the rocker cover breather to the carby, and occasionally getting sucked into the carby when I take off? I notice the later cars have a T piece in this tube going down to a small orifice in the inlet manifold below the carb, which would potentially drain any such puddles. Maybe this is worth trying.
Interested in any ideas or comments but I'm going to experiment by temporarily replacing the tube with a clear one this weekend and seeing what I can see.